Black to Blond?
by tazzledmuch
Summary: a girl with a hard life, runs away, only to be dropped into a movie and turned in to an elf, trying at any given moment to harass hellboy's shoelaces, and she hates being blond, in fact she loaths it.
1. Chapter 1

-ONE-

I Ran as fast as I would ever think possible, I had to get away from my life. I just didn't belong.

I had always been sent different places because my adoptive parents believed I was too different and they said I needed help. I was still running and I had no idea where I wanted to go.

I just knew I needed to get away. My name is Harmony, Harmony Knight and you see I was kind of an empath.

I could feel things that people felt, and that never gave me a moment of peace. I didn't like fights or fighting in fact I tried to stay away from it; but fighting is everywhere in this world and if I ignored my parents judgmental comments and criticism I was yelled to pay attention to them.

And truthfully I didn't see a reason to listen to mean hurtful things. You see the reason I had never fit in with this society was mainly because I didn't like how my parents thought they owned everything they bought including other species and creatures of the world.

I really don't get why they think that, though I never told them how I felt because that would lead to an argument. I don't like arguments.

And the few times I even dared to speak my mind I was sent to the places where doctors treated me like I didn't know what I was talking about, and that I was delusional.

When I came home I wanted to be alone but they medicated me thinking I was in a depression, but I really wasn't depressed and my parents just wanted control over the situation.

So I was never alone, but I felt alone in this world because I didn't have anyone who was there to let me be who I wanted to be.

In fact I was just hurt and frustrated and no one seemed to care enough to not judge me. when ever I had a chance to make friends my parents always found a way to destroy whatever friendship I had, they would usually find a way to befriend my own friends parents telling them about whatever disorder they thought I had.

And eventually my friends were either scared away or believed my what my parents told them and their parents. So that's why I was running away.

And what's a twenty year old doing running away. Well my parents wouldn't let me have my own life away from their supervision. So they bought me an apartment across the street from them and the only time I could ever be fully alone was at night.

And on this night that is why I decided to run as far away from my parents and their controlling way's.

My long flowing black hair bounced around as I ran swiftly threw the breeze. I had been running for what seemed like miles. And I found myself in a city park where I sat down beneath a tree.

Shining silver tears fell out of my storm grey eyes. "I wish I could have another life, hell. Even falling into one of my favorite movies would do, I know it's probably impossible but it'd be better than living this one." I said between sobs.

After a few minutes I found the earth start to shake beneath me, and soon began falling into a dark abyss.


	2. Chapter 2

-TWO-

I could hear voices speaking to each other as I awoke. I opened my eyes to find that I was lying on a small bed looking straight at Hellboy and Liz Sherman.

"What the fuzz!" I said closing my eyes, "I'm dreaming about movie characters maybe I really am crazy."

"Red she's awake…" Liz say's.

"ah.. so she is." Said hellboy, "what's your name elf girl"

"Elf? I am not an elf and my name is Harmony knight." I said calmly a piece of my hair falls over my shoulder and I gasp when I see the color, "I'm a firkin blond! Well this sucks, did you dye my hair? if you did I will find you wherever you go I will hunt you down… you will rue the day you ever dyed my hair and I will personally kick you crazy unhelpful Red demonic ass… but seriously Blond…and for your information why the hell would you think I am an elf are my ears pointed are or something do I have minty breath… TELL ME GOD DAMMIT!"

"Minty breath that's a good one…" says hellboy snickering loudly.

"Red…" Liz warns then she turns to me, "Harmony so you say you aren't an elf…"

"uh… yeah I'm pretty sure I'm mortal…" liz grabs a hand mirror and hold in in front of me, and holy shit I'm a…" ELF! Nooooooooooooooooooooo… I can't be! This is absolutely ridcualus" I check my self in the mirror and frown. "I am so dying my hair back to black and oh hell no my eyes reflect that color hint of ginger, I want my eyes back! You took my storm grey eyes hostage want them back you pompas ass holes!"

"whoa calm down" hellboy say's to me as some pale skinned pointer hair blond elf lady comes aka princess nuala comes in with that alien guy Abraham Sapien. And heck he really is blue, "hey nuala who does harmony remind you of?" nuala smiles knowingly while trying to remain innocent and unnoticed. But seeing this I frown at her and glare deeply into her eyes still glaring though. Then turn back around.

I jump out of the bed into the air fists aiming toward hellboy's head. "Argh! It was you who made me blond! Erg! I hate you!" hellboy was about to reacts to my awesome fists of fury, when rather unfortunalatly Nuala's brother Nuada also jumped over hellboy's head tackling me to the ground…

I try to yell at nuada but he put's a hand over my mouth. So I decide to bite the sucker.

And I begin again to run towards hellboy thinking he died my black hair to this stupid white blond color.

"You will pay for dying my black hair to blond you red skinned asshole…" I lunged toward his shoelaces and tied them together… "hah!" I said gleefully.

Hellboy raised an eyebrow, "really harmony shoelaces" he smirked, "what's gonna be next you'll steel my hair brush…"

I grin widely at him, "naw! I was just messing with you, I knew you couldn't have dyed my black hair to this stupid blond color, besides I'm not a human anymore" I shrug, "and plus I just wanted to see your reaction."

"you can lung at my shoelaces anytime blondie…" hellboy grins back as he starts to walk out the door.

"Sorry to say but will not be blond for long I intend to dye it back to black! So Hah!" i yell after him then I turn to face the others in the room aand grin cheesily, "what can I say I've been told I'm crazy…"


	3. Chapter 3

-3-

It's been three hours since I woke up, and bit nuada, then tried to tie hellboy's shoe laces.

I am now officially stuck in the isolation room, joy! Dr. manning or as I like to call him, baldy locks is pressing his beady little eyes on the glass.

I give him the finger.

He backs away from the one way glass and trips over his computer chair.

I can so see him.

Sucker!

I decide today is a good day to practice one of the songs from lamb chop. And so I begin to sing rather of key.

_**This is**__**the song that never ends**_

_**Yes it goes on and on My friends**_

_**somebody started singing it**_

_**not knowing what it was**_

_**and they'll continue singing it **_

_**forever just because…**_

in the background I could head manning big fat head banging against his desk…

_**this is the song that never ends**_

_**yes it goes on and on**_

_**my…. **_

But I didn't get to finish my second verse because lucky for manning hellboy walked into my space.

My personal space that is.

He walked right up to the examination table and sat on the chair kicking his legs up on the table and crossing them.

I try to surpress an eye roll. But failed when my eyes began rolling all over the place.

Hellboy raises one of his big black furry eye brows at me,

I glare and point, "you dare raise one of your over grown eyebrows at me!"

"Yeah you caught me!" he says leaning back into his plastic chair.

"funny In the movies your eyebrows looked bigger…" I say sipping on the Frappuccino manning had no drank but left on the table before me.

"thank you?" he says questionably.

I set the delicious frozen coffee down, I can see manning glaring at me thru the one way mirror.

And i decide to do anything to get on his bad side… so I grin and wave at him.

I turn back to hellboy, "think nothing of it."

"I'm not!" he begins to say

but I ignore the hair coloring self centered demon and keep talking, "I hate to say it but your eyebrows are very bushy, I can almost see all of brazil in there."

Hellboy stares

I stare back

Manning glares

I flip manning off

I raise and eye brow at hellboy

Hellboys eyes begin to water and he begins squinting them trys to get something out of his eyes.

I smile at him and do a victory dance, "you all right there? You seem to be at a loss becausei kicked your ass at a starring contest…"

He glares at me, "hold on a second nobody move…" he pauses for dramatic effect, "I lost my contact lens…"


	4. Chapter 4

-Four-

Sooo... I'm officially by myself again and hellboy is long gone… he found his contact lens . I look at the clock on the wall only to find that it's two in the morning and there's no way in hell that I'm going to sleep with those security camera's recording my every move.

I'm counting how many times that I can be twiddling my thumbs. When the lights in the room go out, there may be hope for escape at last.

The great metal door is thrust open and there wrappe in a pink bath robe while holding a rubber duck is Nuada in all his bath time glory.

A hint of amusement fills my eyes. of course Princy nuada looks peeved.

"all right… who took my hair brush…" he was practically foaming from the mouth.

I chuckled in the darkness, "can you think of no one? I'm betting on your sister or maybe hellboy aka gingersnap…"

Suddenly nuada's rubber ducky hits me in the forehead and I fall over and die…

Just kidding I have not died, but damn the rubber poultry felt like 100 ton weight. It's heavier that it looks.

So here I am laying on my back tied to a plastic chair when nuada begins slapping me like a girl. Hey wait I am a girl. Well…maybe he slapped more like a toddler, but no one really knows it's all a conspiracy.

"take that back Nuala would never take my hair brush, she loves me too much…" he states boldly, a little to bold in my opinion. Ewww! incest

Now if you've seen hellboy 2 then you'd know Nuada's sister is in fact in love with some other guy.

I feelsorry for the natural blond if only he could die and then his pain would be erased from all knowledge. But when chance came it ensnared a new bearer.. my preciioouus…Gollum!

Sorry couldn't resist. The Lord of the rings trilogy is my hero.

Ok then… Moving on…

So nuada was sad he had lost his hair brush, his precious as I like to call it…

But fate had its way of revealing its self.

Nuala walks into the room brushing her way too blond hair…

I smirk even though nuada has yet to notice his brush in the hands of his sister. So instead he's crying loudly clinging onto my shirt getting tear stains in it. Truth is those tear stains in my shirt may never wash out. And I am officially sobbing as well. I miss how clean my shirt used to be.

"brother I've come to return you flamingo colored hairbrush." Nuala say's as nuada and I jump away from one another feeling rather awkward…

"you have my hair brush nuala! Where ever did you find it." He say's running like a mad person toward nuala and knocking her over in the process.

Nuala was turning blue… "nuada can't breath.

"I know it's rather breathtaking isn't it. My brush is safe and you found it…." Nuada say's while his elbow is unknowingly pressing down on nuala's throat.

"I'm choking1" nuala say's gasping for air…

"I know sister I can hardly believe this luck as well.." he gushes over his hair brush.

It really amazes me how stupid these characters are in real life.

I decide to help nuala from becoming a corpse . "yo' nuada listen closely…YOU – ARE - CHOKING – NUALA – WITH – YOUR - GOD DAMN! – ELBOW!" I scream throwing his rubber ducky at his head.

Nuada falls over and nuala can breathe again.

The only problem is… his hair brush fell down an air vent and he is going to be very, very mad at me when he wakes up.


	5. Chapter 5

-FIVE-

so let's get to the point. I'm still Laying on the floor tied to a plastic chair. Lucky for Nuada, his sister had asked hellboy to carry him to his room. Cause I'm pretty sure he would have thrown something else at me. And I probably would have died after that. But whatever…

I'm reciting the balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet, and saying both of their lines when manning walks in.

Joy!

"Shakespeare…" manning stutters, "that's good… can you see him… you know with you being an elf and him being dead and all."

I raise an eyebrow at him from my place on the floor. "just because I'm blond doesn't mean I can see them… because well face it I look way better than some corpse out there." boy! I just don't really like being on tied to a chair flat on my back any more. Manning's looks taller from down here.

Manning crosses his arms and begins hiccupping dramatically… he stars turning blue and falls over, spinning around in circles on his back on the floor.

What a weirdo…

So I being the only sane one in this reality begin to bite at my bindings only to find out that the ropes are made of red licorice. Well what the hell? Well there's only one thing to do… and I begins eating away at the licorice that has me tied down to the chair. I'm just lucky I guess.

When I finish eating those delicious ropes. I stands up, walk over to the now purple hiccupping manning and grab his arm dragging him through the deserted hallway of the BPRD. Though only to be stopped by mike Meyers dressed like Austin powers. "Well there's something you don't see every day!" I say trying to walk around that crazy actor person… but who knows maybe I'm just hallucinating or crazy or something.

Suddenly the so called Austin Powers begins punching manning in the face.

"What the hell Mike Meyers!" I say somewhat amused…

"He's Doctor Evil…" this deranged actor say's still punching manning.

I suppress an eye roll, "no… he's manning."

"Who?" the Austin powers dressed actor say's imitating the character he once portrayed. Wow mike Meyers really must have gone bonkers or had too much coffee, cause he's loopy he actually believes he's Austin powers, Lame!

"Manning! The fat bald guy that sit's at a computer doing nothing all day."

"Come Again?" Mike Meyers asks. Hmmm… to be sane or not to be sane… that is the question.

"god your stupid!"

Well that's not very nice…" He begins to say but decided against it as I glare menacingly, "umm… well never mind… here let me prove to you he's doctor evil!"

"okay but if Manning dies and has his face ripped over and bleeds to death than I'm outa here…" I tell him.

"well that was descriptive…" Mike Meyers say's still imitating a movie character.

Mike Meyer's actually decided to rip manning face off, I cringed, but there was no blood. Instead there was a face inside a face. Dr. Evil.

"Hello Austin powers… we meet again for the last time." Maybe I was wrong, but hey i did meet the hellboy characters, who's to say other ones can't be allowed he also…

That when I saw the real manning standing beside hellboy, both holding Bazooka's. I decide to move somewhere else. They aim the bazookas at Austin powers and dr. evil. Firing and blowing their heads straight off. Um yeah gross I know but it was kind of inspiring.

Hellboy decided at this moment to depart from this part of the hallway. Carrying the real manning by his underpants.

Okay….


	6. Chapter 6

BLACK TO BLOND 6

okay so yeah i officially have my own room... only there weren't enough rooms in the BRPD and that really sucked ass.

so please don't run away screaming in fear or mabye you should, i don't really know for sure... okay bunking with that really wierd elf guy nuada and i really hate his guts right now, i'll tell you why, besides the fact he hit me on my forhead with that rubber duck of doom.

well any way here is a day and a half ago when i found out something so impossible it was horrifying.

let's get on with it shall we.

- A DAY AND A HALF AGO -

-flashback-

- so i'm sitting minding my own bussiness, locked up in the isolation room once again, only this time i'm tied to the flippin chair with duck tape over my mouth so i don't eat the licorice ropes and plan my daring escape.

not that i'd get very far. i swear i'm starting to get why people hate mary sues. it's agrivating how stupid this plot line is.

so agravating it burns.

so i'm humming the intro from family guy, when all of a sudden baldylocks once again enters the room dramaticlly knocking open the door. and he looks pissed.

"Harmony... we've did a few blood tests... and your an exact match..." manning states without giving me a clue of what he's talking about, "but.. it's a match none the less..."

i raise my left eye brow and roll my eyes. "siriously get on with it baldy! i'm tired and my eyes slightly drooping from your boring me, so spit it out!"

manning squints his beady little eyes trying to glare at me, but failing miserbly.

"i can squint my eyes toooo..." i say squinting back at him. then i grin, "oh my gosh! no way we could be twins... except your bald and and i'm not an old wrinkly ancient pruny hairless molerat, and a complete jeffrey tambor lookalike... so yeah..."

manning sighs loudly "let's just get just get this over with... your an exact blood match to the belthmora royal family line, your so close in a blood match that we think your nuala and nuada's long lost younger sister..."

my fists clench angrilly and i break out of my licorice bindings and yell in complete utter rage and slightly angsty too... "ugh! oh hell noooo! i cannot be related to the that pansy! he wears pink bath robes for crying out loud, not to mention he threw an 100 ton rubby ducky at my head... and i will never forgive him for his unimaginal crimes..."

manning backs into a corner and shakes in fear... then he stutters out." well you'll be sharing a room with him on the old ripped up cot, cause he demanded the bed... he say's it's bad for his royal backside"

"what! hell nooo! he will be sleeping on that cot even if i have to tie him down with thick iron chains... i will get the bed theres no way, he deserves it for asaulting me with that rubber thing!... i'm apparently his sister for crying out loud so that should count as something right?. " giving manning the stink eye, "right!"

"well.. the thing is he doesn't no your sister, not yet anyway..."

"good i hope it stays that way, i don't want some pansy ass brother hittting on me or it will be war between the pansy and me... and i know for a fact that i will win... blondie stands no chance.."

manning caughs, "your blond too..."

"not for long baldy not for long..." the room goes dark and the only thing to be seen were my eyes glowing like christmas lights in the shadows... -

- end of flashback-

so


	7. Chapter 7

-black to blond 7-

i am so furious right now and bored out of my mind. i keep tossing and turning and i cannot get to sleep.

and yeah... i'm on the old ripped up cot at the foot of nuada's bed.

i am so mad right now... argghhhh!

i just want to shave all nuada's hair off and give it to gingersnap aka the red demonic hair coloring bimbo who dyed my hair to bland... HELLBOY... well for an early birthday present.

only i don't know when his birthday is, i'll have to ask...

or i could just make up a random day like i give him mannings birthday, so they could be twins. yay!

i like the sound of that baldylocks and gingersnap having a birthday togethor. i'm so proud of my inginious idea's that i come up with.

go me!

btw mannings birthday is tomarrow on april first... omg! tehehe... i'm so glad i looked thru manning file drawer in his office this morning when he left his office for a moment to tell that wierd krauss bot, to stop singing in the shower, even though i have no idea why he was even in the shower in the first place, his metal parts could rust and he's have to get another rust free metal container that he lives in practiclly all the time... and the 75% of the time. i guess i'm kinda ovewr exagerating.

but where's the fun in that, if i couldn't be a bit dramatic, i wouldn't have any plot and schemes that i could ever wish to accoplish, and that would suck. no more pranks means no more life... ((hits head on pillow)) angst... angst... angst... ((sighs)) angst...

so now you may be wondering why i didn't get to kick nuada out of his bed and send him to the dirty old ugly ripped up grimy... okay you get the point... but siriously i tried to yank his of the bed, i even tried to threaten him with a flame thrower i had found in the BRPD supply closet.

i don't really know how a flame thrower got into the supply closet.

but hey it works for me, i even tried to burn my brother nuada's hair to a crisp, laughing maniacly as i tried to sneak towards the bed which i wanted him gone from, but he immiadatly went into stealth mode, and snuck behind me holding his spear blade to my throut.

i siriously hate nuada right now... grrrrrr... i will take out my irritation on him when he's too busy oggling our sister nuala, i mean she like the gooey slimeball alien guy abe sapian so she doesn't like our bother like that.

and i don't flippin blame her at all for thinking it's wrong to like her brother like that. i'm not into the whole insest thing,

when i was mortal and not in this total unresaalistic fictional land, i thought my brother was disgusting, a good humorous friend, but still disgusting, i find it wrong to even think of him like that, he would pick his nose whenever he the urge to pick something and then either eat his snot or wipe it thoughtlessy onto my parents furniture or their exspanive book collection, that i refuse to go near or touch any more because they are prabably infected, and honestly i just wish my parent could have burned them or at least let me build a bonfire in their backyard and put on plastic gloves and throw the them into a bag.

then throw the bag into the six foot tall nonexistent bonfire.

ick! one of the many things i do not miss about home.

though i'd prabably reconsidered coming here after all i've been through just to be in this slightly ridiculous fictional world that i am now apart of.

oy! the lameless of it all...


	8. Chapter 8

-chapter 8 black to blond-

nuada is snoring now, he fell asleep not too long ago, he's just rolled over snuggling in his kermit the frog blanket, and cuddling with an over sided 3 foot tall rubber ducky.

i find it too wierd to even think about carrying on.

knew i must do think for the sake of my sanity... and too get my revenge for nuada veing a thorn in my side... grrrrrrrr...

i snuck over to the side of his bed. the side of the bed where he was turned away from me snoring like something unnatural and extremly abornormaly loud. truthfully he sounded like michael jackson's voice, when m.j. say's hee! hee!

yeah... something is definatly wrong with this guy...

asi i a get closer to him, i pull out a portable electric shaver that i took from hellboy's room when i was supposedlty getting to know liz sherman and gingersnap, but in reality i was trying to find something to assault nuada's head with and to make him bald...

i creep up next to him and wave my hand in front of his face...

he does not budge... he's as still a boulder. he's totally conked out... so i raise the electric shaver high above my head in my left hand, and slwoly come down lie a shadow upon the middle of his hairline and shave right down the middle of his head.

now there's actually a a baldlike trench line right thru the middle of his hair, i grin a sneak away silently...

leaving nuada to his fate.

doom! doom! doom!


	9. Chapter 9

-black to blond 9-

so i'm sitting in the cafiteria eating breakfast sitting down withe nuala and abe on one side next me and hellboy and liz on the otherside...

nuada isn't up yet... oh wait... i thin ki hear something...

"what! my haaaiiiirrrr! eeeeeekkkkk!"nuada cries form ten hallway's away..."i'm going to kill her... HARMONY! your soo dead! i'm coming to kill you you bitch! your life is over! omg! my perfect blond hair"

i giggle to my self, luckily i'm no longer blond anymore, i dyed in at three in the morning because liz gave me some of her black hair dye... after i knocked on the iron door repeatedly until she got annoyed and threw open the door surounded flames and let me in...

i'm only borrowing stuff from others at the BRPD because they havn't authorized me leaving the base yet, i kind pissed they want me to join the team... hellboy's team grrrr...

i absolutly refuse for now... only because my pansy brother is on the team...

stupid nuada tricks r' for kids!

anyway the light go out for a moment. my eyes glowing...

"at leaste we can see one thing the dark... " hellboy said sacasticlly... hellboy tries to poke my floresent glowing eyes, i quickly swat his hands away... when the lights turn back on and i see my pansy brother sitting across from me at the table pointing a spear at my face...

"get that the hell out of my face nuada!" i say growling menacingly at my brother. even though he doesn't know i'm even related to him supposedly...

he smirks darkly at me... "make me" he states earning another growl from me...

"alright" i say... ithen lean back in chair and pull two object into both of my hand. the portable shaver in one hand, a a flame thrower i found earlier in the other... "i will... bring it on! you partially baldish blond..."

we're about to go at eachother i utter dislike for eachother... when suddely nuada air bends like in the last airbender show... sending us flying in opposite directing... "STOP! nuada don't harm her she's your SISTER!"

i put a hoand over my face and slide it downward. she just had to spill the beans didn't she..

"damn... dammit, dammity, dammit dammity damn damn dammit! he was never supposed to find out" i say blowing up in emotional furry...

"uhhh... yes he was harmony..." liz begins to say...

"well i can dream right... not about him anyways... the pansy is and never will be my bother..." i cross my arms stubbornly and stick out my toungue and my soon to be teammates, in which i will be soon to be forced to join with...

just then nuada brikes into a full out grin, and what i dread most of all happens before my very eyes. my brother tries to hug me but i slipp away, "we shall be togethor forever, we shall never be parted..."

"get away from me" i screech as he chases me down the hallway... "your freaky pansy stay away!"

i run through the corridor in circles being chased by my borther... gross insest...i feel dirty... ((gasp)) need to run away quickly moronic pansy alery... but... ewwwwww!

i end up back in the cafiteria...

nuala looks relieved, "well at least he's not after me any more... that a relief"

"shut it sister" i yell out as i'm being chased around the many tables scattered acroos the dining hall and cafiteria.. "somebody get me out of this stupid mary sue plot... ack!" nuada grabs me and start hugging me, i can bearly breath he's choking me and my oxigen in narrowed down to almost 0%... "help me lizz please get him off me please!" i yell...

"red we have to do something..."lizz say's gagging loudly...

"your right.. i feel so sorry for her, it's almost to sickening to watch!" he's say then a light burld appears floating above hellboy's head glowing brightly as he ponderd in thought,"hold the phone... i have an idea..." hellboy runs toward and into the kitchen..

lizz yells at him fearing for my life, "red where are you going... and what could we possibly need that's in the kitchen !" liz say's wavign her arms franticlly in the air...

"shush liz" gingersnap say's from behind the counter, "i need consentrate..." he looks around the kitchen for something helpful that he could use.

he finds what he's looking for and sounters back into the room with something held in his hands...

"red what's that" lizz say's stupidly

"what it look like babe.." he say's rolling his eyes and waving the item from the kitchen in her face, "it's a frying pan.. duh!"

hellboy jumps into the air hurtling toward nuada, and arbiting around the both of us, until hit knock nuada unconsious with a big metal frying pan of doom! the pan falls to the floor clattering loudly on the cement floor...

"yay i'm free..." i look at my hands, "i feel dirty... ack!" i run into a wall reapeatedly until i've had enough and walk over to my brother unconcious form... awwwe he's sleeping... uhhh... ewww he's sucking his thumb. "umm... gingersnap! isn't he supposed to be unconsious... why the hell is he only sleeping...i get angry when my demands arn't met... grrrrr... just kidding!

not!

hellboy snatches the frying pan back into his hands from it's place on the now contaminated floor... geeeee... thanks a lot pansy... and WHACK! WHAM! THUD!

my idiotic creepy pansy brother nuada, sinks into the a hole in the floor which had now apparently formed for some reason... ((shruggs)) anyway...

but wait! he's consious again... and crap! he's holding onto the cement with only his thumb... i wonder what would happen if i stepped on it... actsidenitlly of coarse...

"oh well..." WHOOPS! istep on his thumb and pick my foot up again and... nuada falls into the dark abyss yeeling patheticlly, " i l ove yooouuuuuuuu!"

"yeah well i'm a heart breaker and i never loved you in the first place... plus your my brother that insest and honey that's just wrong...

"we will be together my love, i will come back to yopououououuuuuu so we can be togethor at last!" he shouts from deeper in the dark abyss, still falling i guess..

THUD!

i guess not...

"well..." i say, "i hope that he stay's down there forever..." i sigh loudly then spin around feeling free for once or for at least a moment or so...

but hellboy just had to open his big fat mouth and ruin my perfect moment...

"not likely... he'll be back abe sapien say's feeling the floor for vibrations and and any sign from the pansy...

"i know i just hoped mabye could never return ... but i guess i'm kidding myself to think i'd free from him forever..." i say... this fictional world sucks.. and to think i'm only getting started on my miserble life here...


	10. Chapter 10

- black to blond 10-

i'm officially bored out of my mind, i'm now on the team, not that i had a choice, i was nuada's replacement. they're messing with the wrong girl. revenge shall be sweet...

it is totally going to suck for hellboy and his team of unhelpfulls... they have no idea what coming for them... they will soon learn... ahhhh yes they will see how much suffering they put me thru by not even trying to find a way to send me back to my world...

screw them and their annoyingness, they will pay they will all pay... and nooooo... i'm not the true villian it's the authoress of this story that got me landed in with such wierdo's.

i've had 2 weeks of training and i'm glad there's no sign of sign of the pansy as of yet... though i have mysuspiciouns he's hiding out watching my ever move like the pansy brother stalker he is... ick! sarah from the 1986 labyrinth movie may have thought things were unfair for her, but this is just wrong!

so all of us, me, gingersnap... er... i mean hellbush ((you know because of his eye brows)), including abe, liz, and manning exsculding nuala and nuada, are sitting out waiting to investigate a recent local killing done by some guy who apparently thinks he's the boogieman, so were waiting in dead kids bedroom, sittiing upon the torn up matress like utter idiots... i mean all of us could berely fit on the tiny bed by the window...

i know it it sounds wrong doesn't it, nope not even close, except the blue fish guy that i'm sitting beside small of rotten tuna... blech! GAG! i siriously trying to block out the smell of him by plugging my wilting nose...

all of a sudden we all hear voice of quiet sobs from underneath the bed, "she loves me ((sob)) she loves me not... ((sobs again)) she loves me... ((gasps sadley)) she loves me not... ((shrieks exitedly)) SHE LOVES ME! I ALWAY'S KNEW SHE WOULD!"

'oh crap! i thought to myself he's back voldemorts back..'. ((caugh)) i thought snickering silently, 'pansy just doen't know how much i hate his guts right now..'. i begin tapping on lizz's sleeve, "i think i know who underneath us..." i state so captain obviously.

suddenly the blue guy interupted, "it's nuada... he's back... and it seems like he's coming for you harmony... i'm so sorry" said abe sapien looking at me while feeling the beds head board with his fin like hands... "and it looks like from what i see he will never give up and he will never stoppesterign you..."

"i should have never wished to leave home blueman! thanks for the heads up..." blue man nods at me and i look around the room and say. "show yourself pansy... so i can shave all your hair off and kill you right here and right now! "

i quickly pulled out a giant eraser from my bag and waited...

all of a sudden my idiotic fictional brother popped out from under the bed...

"miss me!" nuada said appearing in fron of me,

so i did the impossible , i pulled the giant eraser out in front of me and jumped up and began erasing nuada's existence from existence.. "no..." i smirk at the place he once stood, "i won't miss your at all!" his body was gone, he was gone, and the rest they say is history...

except for one minor detail i was still stuck in the authoress;s slightly insane world... and the story wasn't done yet, and nuada i fear may return soon, very soon... and this was just getting to be a pain...

i now know what buffy the vampire slayer feels when she's dusting vampires...

POWER! Plus… I bet slightly irritated… and I was I really was….


	11. Chapter 11

-eleven-

I've come to a conclusion, two things sadly.

The my skittles that I'm munching on are delicious. But… I don't taste the rainbow. **sniffs sadly** maybe I should chuck skittles at people just to see if a rainbow appears after I knock one of the agents out by pelting skittle at them, while I am sitting in the ventilation system.

And what am I doing sitting on my butt above the ceiling… well.. see… the funny thing is Liz is trying to go take me shopping for bra's… not happening. I am not going into victoria's secret to try on lingerie in front of some prissy bon-bon who plans on trying to kill me and make me dress like a preppy school girl.

**I think I'll pass**

I like to dress in dark black stuff. With a long black leather trench coat which has made me look very sketchy. And I like looking sketchy with chains and spikes all around. Nothing can make me happier than to find a way to freak the pansy out so he dies of shock.

And hopefully he really dies though next time I see him.

If he dies all shall be well… and all shall worship me for my great defeat of my stalker-ish brother…

All of a sudden I heard Liz Sherman's voice calling from down below my hiding spot in the air vent. "Harmony! Krauss told me where you are…" she yelled up at me,.

"no!" I said like a stubborn two your old, "krauss is a stalker!" I open the lid to the air vent and pop my head out and then valiantly stick my tongue out like, "and so are you…" I was about to say and do something even more dastardly… when CRASH! I fell right on top of nuada as he walked by wearing a thong. His hair had grown back.

Noooooooooo…..! I screamed mentally shaking my fist up at the air, "can this Mary Sue plot get even more atrocious!" I quickly get off of the creeper and separate myself from Nuada's mind boggling disturbing disease.

I run into me and nuada room and Then I grab a large bottle of hand sanitizer from my private stash that was hidden in an air vent just like I was.

I run back to the door to the room and nuada is standing there now dressed like Richard simmons… i starred at him for a moment, but then I literally jump into the air, with my foot aiming toward his face and knocking him backwards. Only for him to crash into the wall across the hall and for me to shut and lock the door to the germ infested room.

I only had to snap my finger twice and the Smurf's appeared in front of me closing the door on Nuada face.

I quickly scurried to the bathroom undressed, turning on the hot water as a carried the hand sanitizer into the shower and pouring the sanitizer all over my body, i smiled smugly..

all of a sudden I screamed in pain… it was so painful! My eyes felt like they were on fire…

"my eyes! Oh dear god! It's burning my flesh!" I shrieked loudly… but what I did not know was the city of Chicago could hear my mournful cries of anguish.

-SOME WHERE IN THE SOME- AGENTS ROOM-

Some random unknown agent is reading and flipping thru the pages of a newspaper

My cries of pain echoed loudly, "ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhh…."

Agent john Meyers enjoying some coffee, when he spews coffee from his mouth hitting the caffinated beverage all over the random agents reading matieral.

"hey!" The agent cried out in alarm as some of the coffee got in his eyes… "dammit Meyers… it's so painful…."

John meyes jumps up out of his chair and covers his right hand over the unknown agents mouth… "quiet! You are not important…." Meyers states, "That scream it sound familiar…." he let his hand off the random agents mouth and leans out the door yelling loudly at the mysterious shrieking which happens to me… "SHUT UP!"

"MAKE ME!" I shout back for some apparent reason.

-Back with me in the shower-

Just when ii thought my life couldn't get any worse, I slipped on a bar of soap, falling sideways knocking myself out after hitting the back of my head on the shower floor.

I was having dreams of cannibalistic Care bears that were eating the stuffing out of eachother, In my dream I had witnessed sun-bear stuffing fun-bears head into his mouth swallowing it, and then looking straight at me in hunger.

But before anything could happen I loud obnoxious knocking sound came from outside the bedroom door.

I put on a pair of leather pants and a black spaghetti-strap tank top and slowly make my way toward the door and open it.

To my utter horror the pansy is standing right in front of me wearing a Spiderman costume. Once again I just had to roll my eyes.

But then my idiot brother just had to destroy my hopes and dreams for some god! Damn privacy… "I'll save you my love… " he says as a spider web shoots out of his and he swings into the bedroom and begins crawling sideways of the side of the wall just like a spider would… I quickly run to my designated cot and pull out a giant blue flyswatter from under the cot.

I raise the ginormous fly swatter above my head and SMACK! I squash my roommate with the fly swatter until he turns to dust.

"finally" I say as I get out a broom and dist pan out of the closet and sweep him up dumping his remains into a glass jar, then closing the lid.

I eventually toss the Nuada's dust particles into mannings lunch while he's not looking and walk away.


	12. Chapter 12

-Twelve-

I sat across from manning. He was about to eat his Nuada infested macaroni and cheese. I also had sprinkled nuada's remains in manning's Green beans and potato salad. Mmmm… doesn't that just sound to die for…

I roll my eyes. Pft! As if.

I anxiously waited for manning to pick up his fork, while I acted like I actually had something important to do. Instead of doing anything remotely important I was pretending to read a dr. suess book, only the book was turned sideways and I guess manning decided to point out the obvious… "you know that you are reading that book side way… right?"

My eyes grew wide in fear and then they were replaced with angry eyes. "Not again.."

Manning scratched the top of his big shiny bald head in complete confusion... "Did I do anything irritate you, cause you know…"

I interrupted manning before he could finish his "shhhhhh… look down at you tray" baldy locks I say pointing at pointing at his food. Suddenly we both lean down and study the top of the tray, nuada's dust particles begin floating out of manning food. "shit!" I curse under my breath. This is not happening I thought to myself. Doesn't he ever die?!

"what's that?" manning asks curiously looking at the dust that came from nuada…

I sigh loudly, "trust me… you don't want to know…" I begin trying manning method and drop my head slowly onto the table with a loud painful thump! "ugh!" I say after I lift my head up and drop it dramatically onto the cafeteria table again… "unbelievable…" I groaned.

All of a sudden I feel a giant wind storm blow strongly, I heard screams and lifted my head off the table and looked around all of the, everyone, agents, krauss, manning, gingersnap, hot head, the smelly blue tuna fish guy and the blond pointy eared lady love, of the blue man… they were all unconscious…

"nooo.. ." I cry silently for a moment, my head falls downward back onto the table in and angsty fashion.

I feel I pat on my shoulder my shoulder, I turn around to my right and there back is his physical form is the pansy.

This was the last straw, I stood up and turned to face that parasite and punch him square in the face.

He Fall over just for a moment and to my horror. The creep decided to scoop me up into his arms. Growl menacingly at my fictional brother and struggle to get out of this wack-jobs revolting arms. But no avail I continued growling at this idiot.

Nuada just grinned down at me and smirked, "my love you are so cute when you purr..." he just would not let go and I was just about had it with this plot… get me out of this deranged plotline! Someone! Ahhhhhh!

Nuada took me up some flights of steps and carried me out of the BPRD, along the way my eyes rolled back behind my head and I lost consciousness… I later woke up in a flowery golden meadow. I was no longer in nuada's arms not that I wanted to be in the first place. He was nowhere in site "where the hell am i!" all of a sudden I hear a familiar song tune from a well know musical…

_**You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life  
>See that girl, watch that scene, diggin' the dancing queen<strong>_

"wha..?" I said dumbly looking around stupidily.. "what's happening.."

_**Friday night and the lights are low  
>Looking out for the place to go<strong>_

I notice a faraway, Nuada skipping towards me doing some sort of obnoxious dance in the distance.. I roll my eyes not in the least bit amused… "what the hell is he doing?" i asked to no one.

_**Where they play the right music, getting in the swing  
>You come in to look for a king<strong>_

Nuada ends up falling on his face at one point… I smirk crueley at him, "idiot.." I add. I frown when he pick himself back up and begins to skip and dance and swirl about, still getting closer even if he's about a mile away..

_**Anybody could be that guy**_

He keeps skipping toward me, I face palms at what I saw next… "'are those furby's" shout loudly at him . nuada was close enough to see far away big earts possessed toy's fallowing, swirling about, and dancing along with him. he shouts back "yes my love they are your wedding present and !" I glare, and nuada waves back at me, "we will have millions of smoking hot elf babies together!" he shouts "we can name the girls all miley cyrus and we can name the boy's nuada silverlance just like me…" WTF!

_**Night is young and the music's high  
>With a bit of rock music, everything is fine<br>You're in the mood for a dance  
>And when you get the chance...<strong>_

I was fuming and I let out a huge lions roar, like samba s from the lion king. The whole earth shook violently and the sky when red.

"I will not marry you! I do love you at all… I do not want your babies. Leave me alone… and I hope you get squished by a small farm house.." i take off my left shoe and chuck it at his head… I then take off the right one and knock him down as the right shoe hits him dead center on his face.

_**You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen  
>Dancing queen, feel the beat from the tambourine<br>You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life  
>See that girl, watch that scene, diggin' the dancing queen<strong>_

All of a sudden a a small farm house fall down from the sky and flatten nuada until he was no more. the furby's begin hopping up and down angrily and Dorothy gale from the wizard of Oz steps out of the house and the furby's chase after her, until they all decide to beat up Dorothy and punch her to the ground with their beaks.

I decide is enough is enough and I click my barefoot heels together, "their no place like home… there's… no place… like home, there's no place like home…"

All of a sudden I wake up in my bed in my bedroom inside my apartment, surrounded by my mom, my dad, my brother brad and the hospital paramedics… I was alive… I sit up and my mom throws her arms around me sobbing uncontrollably. "we thought we had lost you." she begins hugging me fiercely until I can barely breath… she was smothering me. And her arms were cutting off my oxygen.

My dad struggle to pull her away from me "honey your suffocating her…"

"mom… dad… I had a strang dream… mom you were not there, and brad you were not their either, and dad you were not there at all… none of you were but it was so detailed, it was like the worst dream of it's kind… but now I'm back, and I'm so happy to see you all again… and I will never have another dream like that again cause I will start having caffeine on a regular bases so I never have to sleep ever again… I missed you all so much."

My real non-fictional brother brad just rolls his eye at me, "harmony you've been watching the wizard of Oz again haven't you?"

"maybe…. But it was probably that breakfast burrito I had this morning.." I say happily…

my parents and brother all three rolled their eyes at me and then my brother steps forward wacks me on the head, "seriously you could have mention you were taking a nap! How can you sleep like you dead to the world? Mom almost decided to get a tattoo of your face to remember you by…"

I raise my eye brow at the three of them.. "uh.. well… that's nice…" I stare at my mother, "promise me something… never ever get a tattoo with my face on it… I may never forgive you if you do…"


End file.
